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Thread: Pope Jokes

  1. #1

    Default Pope Jokes

    I had to look up the pope fishing joke Scott told, 'cause it seemed like I was missing something in the translation.

    "One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees. The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before; the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says, "Give it a shot, father."
    After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat. The fisherman says, "Whoa, what a big sonofabitch!"
    The priest says, "Ah, please sir, can you mind your language?"
    The fisherman responds (thinking quickly), "I'm sorry father, but that's what this fish is called---a sonofabitch!"
    "Oh, I'm sorry," says the priest. "I didn't know."
    After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the bishop. "Eminence, look at this big sonofabitch!"
    "Please father," says the bishop. "Mind your language, this is a house of God."
    "No, you don't understand," says the priest. "That's what this fish is called, and I caught it. I caught this sonofabitch!"
    "Hmmm," says the bishop. "You know, I could clean this sonofabitch and we could have it for dinner."
    So the bishop takes the fish and cleans it, and brings it to Mother Superior at the convent.
    "Mother Superior, could you cook this sonofabitch for our dinner tonight with the Pope?"
    "My lord, what language!" says the mother.
    "No, sister," says the bishop. "That's what the fish is called---a sonofabitch! Father caught it, I cleaned it, and we'd like you to cook it"
    "Hmmm," replies Mother Superior. "Yes, I'll cook that sonofabitch tonight."
    While the Pope is over for dinner that evening he remarks that the fish is superb. He asks where they got it.
    "I caught the sonofabitch!" says the priest.
    "And I cleaned the sonofabitch!" says the bishop.
    "And I cooked the sonofabitch!" says Mother Superior.
    The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, but then takes off his hat, puts his feet up on the table, and says, "You know, you fuckers are all right."."

    This made me think of another one:

    "A minister is at the butcher shop and asks if they have any good hams. The butcher replies "why yes, we have this Damn Ham". The minister says "please mind your language, I'm a man of the lord". The butcher says "no, that is the brand name, see the label?" and points to where it says "Damn Ham".

    The minister arrives home with the ham and gives it to his wife to cook; "Dear, will you please prepare this Damn ham for dinner tonight?" His wife says "you really should not curse, you are a man of the lord". The ministers then shows his wife the label and that it really is a Damn ham.

    Later at dinner, the whole family is seated at the table. The minister finishes saying grace and proudly says "who would like the first slice of this damn ham?" His son pipes up and says "Way to go pop! Hand it here and then pass me the fucking potatoes!".

  2. #2


    While we are at it, some Cheech and Chong is in order:


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