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What the F@*k is a Vita?

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Well the PlayStation Vita has been released around the world now and Sony fan boys have already started playing around with their new gadget. Most of the reviews I have read/watched have been lukewarm at best. Naturally that is to be expected after all it is a new gaming platform that needs time to grow. Sony seems to have done their best by throwing everything they could possibly think of into this piece of shit in order to please as many people as they can. I mean two touch screens? Really? Also in typical Sony fashion they have made everything from the memory cards to the USB cables proprietary in nature. Oh Sony, Face Palm, here we go again.

Well let me tell you what the fuck a Vita is. The PS Vita is another dedicated handheld that does too many things at once and few of them well. It continues along with the old brick and mortar standard of selling things but if you want to pay more for instant gratification that is possible as well. Do you want to play mobile phone games? It has them for many times more the price. Do you want to play PSP games? Well you can do that too if you re-buy your games at an expensive price point. Do you want to download Vita games instead of putting on your fucking pants and going into Wal-Mart? Oh wait nobody ever wears pants in Wal-Mart anymore!

Yes you can buy your vita games without ever leaving the comfort of your underground lair/crack house at only a fraction of the cost more than actually buying a retail version. Congratulations Wal-Mart and other retail stores, you fucking own Sony. As expected the Vita stumbles out of the gate like a drunken syphilitic whore with an AIDS monkey fucking her sideways up the ass. Will things get better? Well they can’t get much worse now can they? So line up fan boys and pick up Sony’s new handheld gaming device that will get much much better once the hacker heroes make it work properly. I just love being a mindless fucking consumer!

Yes I will probably buy one but not just yet. I'm always patient when new consoles come out. Also I spent too much money on Game Gavel this month!

Once again my favorite video that always sees into the future of Sony:

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